TRANSVESTIA

part of

of the early years. I feel that I can now see FPia as which I need neither be ashamed (I didn't start it) nor boastful.

my life of

The important thing that I now realize is that it has brought me to a realization of myself that I would otherwise have totally neglected. My desire for femininity has been the safety valve on a personality that is too deeply rooted in what the world considers "reality." It has provided an avenue for attempting to truly know myself in deeper ways than were possible before.

Who can say what I might have been had I never coveted the rustle of a skirt or the softness of a blouse? We will never find an answer to questions like that, so it is foolish to carry the burden of wondering. We must deal with what we are. And, if that includes a cache of feminine apparel, so be it.

Seek that lady who lurks inside you. Yes, occasionally she may seduce you. But you must not be overcome by despair or disgust; it is her way of insisting on recognition. This is not the time to turn away from her; she has much more to offer than mere titilation.

Give her a chance. She can bring a gentleness and understanding into your life that you might never have known; a consciousness of beauty, color and form that one might never feel otherwise.

Now, we have hit upon the key word.

She can teach you to FEEL things within you that so many of us have been taught to ignore in our world of so-called masculine logic. We can begin to savor the joy of acting on our feelings with no obligation to explain. And, in doing so, we open into a more complete entity-as a bud opens to become a rose.

But beware. She is not you. You are not her. She is a PART of your whole. The great C.G. Jung calls her the "anima,” the woman who dwells inside all males. We must recognize and deal with her as part of ourself but we cannot permit her to take over any control of the whole.

When we establish her place in our life, it must be defined clearly so that we both understand its boundaries, and that neither part will be threatened. As you contribute to her, she will return the compliment and the result will be measured not in terms of masculinity or femininity but